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If you Google the word “integrity” the search engine will provide you with two definitions. First, it will tell you that this noun means “the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness.” Second, it will tell you that integrity means “the state of being whole and undivided.”

If you are deeply angry at your spouse, you may not initially want to approach your divorce from a place of integrity. You may not even feel that you are capable of seeking one or both definitions of integrity at the moment. However, seeking out an integrity-based approach to your divorce is almost certainly a good idea. Why? Because this approach is most likely to have a positive impact on your divorce settlement and will likely leave you feeling as little regret about the process as possible.

Revenge, anger-based decision-making and a whole host of other negative approaches may feel enticing right now. But is frustrating your spouse (and the court) going to help you achieve what you will really need next in your life? When your divorce is over, you will need financial security, stability, strength and peace in order to find happiness and fulfillment in the next phase of your life. Failing to approach your divorce with integrity will likely help you to achieve exactly none of these goals.

In addition, you may not feel that you are currently “whole and undivided.” However, you can take excellent care of yourself during your divorce process, in order to make sure that you are as whole and healthy as possible for its duration. As we have mentioned before, whether or not you take care of yourself can impact every aspect of the divorce process. In the end, embracing integrity at this time is well worth the effort it takes.

Source: The Huffington Post, “Ending Your Marriage With Integrity,” Tammy Nelson, Feb. 3, 2014