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One of the most common ways a jilted spouse will try to get under your skin during divorce proceedings is to threaten to seek full-custody of the children. Indeed, they might have seen one too many episodes of  “The Young & Restless,” or believe that on some level they are the “superior” parent, but more often than not parents begin to panic at the possibility of enduring a custody battle.

With that said, it is important to prepare for custody disputes. So here are three things to take solace in so that you don’t lose your mind worrying about what will happen.

The kids come first – Family court judges take “the best interests of the child” very seriously. This means that they will seek information that will help them understand what will be best for the children, and will generally take accusations lodged between parents with a grain of salt. So if you are afraid of your soon-to-be ex airing all of your dirty laundry, chances are it is not salacious enough for you to lose custody of the kids.

Actions speak louder than words – The people evaluating your case are more likely to rely on how the kids interact with you and what their relationships are like with people they are close to rather than stories about how terrible (or good) a parent you are. So worrying about who may or may not vouch for you may cause you to lose your mind; and it’s not worth the time.

Both parents should still be parents – A growing number of courts are adopting the view that a child’s best interests are best served when both parents are involved in the child’s life. So the parent who has been a gatekeeper will likely have to cede power and allow the other parent to have more time in the child’s life.